i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
