Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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