I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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