Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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