and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
