I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
