She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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