There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
