im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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