pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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