If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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