wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
