Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
