We're like a lot better than the average bears
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
