We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
