I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
