what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
