Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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