Heybabeimwearingurpanties
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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