Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
