Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
