Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish i was in the wii world.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
