I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize