I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
