...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
