ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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