this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
