ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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