alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
