things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
