He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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