There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
