Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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