we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize