i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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