I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize