then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
