these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
