Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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