Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
