So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
