Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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