I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
