i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
as a side note pls kill me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize