I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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