My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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