On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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