After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had sex on a roof
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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