so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize