O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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