In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
