where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
