Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
