Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize