I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
