It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
