But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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