Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize