I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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