I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
