You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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