I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
