I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
