There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
