the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
