I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
