Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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