My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
