So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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