how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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