I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
