CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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