speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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