Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
wow bdsm is so cute
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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