Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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