I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
