Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
