Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
