a search helicopter?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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