Who wears a wallet chain?!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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